18/10/2026
A all too common view of driving instructors…
“You just sit there while someone drives.”
Yes… much like a lifeguard just sits beside a swimming pool. Very relaxing until somebody forgets what they’re doing, panics or comes across a situation they’ve never experienced before.
People see the L-plate on the roof box, the learner and the instructor in the passenger seat. What they don’t see is how much is going on inside that car before we’ve even reached the end of the road.
I’m watching what my pupil is doing, what they’ve noticed, what they’ve missed while anticipating what everyone around us might do next. I’m deciding whether to give them time to work something out, ask a question, give a clear instruction or physically intervene. All while someone behind us is having a personal crisis because we haven’t entered a roundabout through a gap the size of a golf ball.
Then there’s the person beside me. Someone who might be frightened of getting it wrong, embarrassed about needing help or carrying the words of a previous instructor who made them feel useless. Someone returning after a collision or years away from driving. Someone whose brain processes information differently and needs me to explain it another way.
You cannot teach every person in exactly the same way and then blame the ones who don’t fit your method.
I often teach nervous, anxious and neurodivergent pupils. Sometimes the first achievement is getting them comfortable enough to tell me they don’t understand. That matters. If someone is too frightened to ask a question, how on earth are they supposed to learn?
We are driving instructors, though. We can listen, adapt and support, but we cannot be expected to have every answer to every difficulty someone brings to their lesson.
There are days when you finish a lesson physically sitting in the same seat you started in, yet mentally you feel as though you’ve carried the car round the M25 numerous times.
You’ve stayed calm through a frightening moment, explained something six different ways and helped someone leave feeling more capable than when they arrived. Then you take a breath, reset and make your way to the next pupil. They deserve your patience too.
Outside the car, there’s the business to run. Fuel, insurance, servicing, tyres, repairs, messages, payments and a diary that can unravel remarkably quickly when the car develops an unexpected (and often expensive) issue.
Then comes the pressure about the test. “Can’t you just get them through?”
I want them to pass. Of course I do. More importantly though, I want them to cope when I’m no longer sitting beside them. There is a considerable difference between helping someone become independent and getting them round a test while everyone holds their breath.
None of this means instructors should be beyond criticism. They deserve proper teaching, respect, patience and our full attention. Shouting at someone and calling it “being firm” doesn’t suddenly make it good teaching.
Respect needs to work both ways, though. We need pupils willing to learn, pay on time (a small business relies on cash flow!), families who understand that progress takes time and other drivers who can see an L-plate without treating it as a declaration of war.
That learner taking a little longer at the junction is trying to make a decision. Your horn has not supplied the missing experience. It has simply added an unnecessary anxiety to their time on the road.
After 17 years, I still care deeply about doing this job properly. I care about the nervous person who finally believes they can do it. I care about the pupil who starts making safe decisions without looking to me for reassurance. I care about what happens after the shiny pink licence comes through the letterbox.
By all means, expect a lot from a driving instructor. It is a job with enormous responsibility. Just understand what you’re asking of the person in that passenger seat.
I’m teaching someone who will eventually be sharing the road with your family and mine. That deserves time, care and a bit of understanding to make sure they’re safe, for your benefit as much as theirs.
You need to drive safely for life, not to just pass a test.
