07/08/2026
Today it was back to reality.
Back to speech therapy. Back to appointments. Back to the little pieces of our new normal.
Watching Brynlee today, I couldn’t help but smile. She’s doing so incredibly well. Every week she amazes me a little more. The way she talks now, the conversations we have, the confidence she carries..she’s becoming such a big girl right before my eyes.
And if I’m being honest, it breaks my heart just a little.
I don’t know if it’s simply because she’s growing up, or if it’s because life forced her to grow up far sooner than any five year old ever should. Maybe it’s both. There are moments when I look at her and still see my tiny little girl, and then she’ll say something so thoughtful or independent that it catches me completely off guard. Time feels like it’s moving too fast, especially after spending a year wondering if we’d even get this time together.
There are still little reminders that our journey isn’t over. Lately I’ve noticed she’s starting to walk on the sides of her feet again instead of flat. Maybe it’s the nerve damage. Maybe it’s something else. She’s still taking gabapentin, so I’m not really sure why it’s happening. It’s one of those things that probably no one else would notice, but as her mom, I notice every little change.
That’s what survivorship looks like. It isn’t just ringing the bell and moving on. It’s celebrating the victories while still paying attention to the small things that remind you where you’ve been. It’s being unbelievably grateful for how far she’s come while quietly wondering about the things that still linger.
But today, more than anything, I just looked at my little girl and felt thankful.
Thankful that she’s here. Thankful that she’s laughing, learning, growing, and finding her voice.
Even if she’s growing up a little faster than this mama’s heart is ready for.
