09/03/2026
The Gettysburg Vacuum Address — ToolSync Tool Review
Four score and seven weeks ago, Harbor Freight brought forth upon this continent a new vacuum, conceived in power, and dedicated to the proposition that all vacuums are NOT created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great cricket war, testing whether that vacuum, or any vacuum so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure—for the claimed 37 minutes on a 5Ah battery. It can.
We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those crickets who here gave their lives that this vacuum might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The brave crickets, living and dead, mostly dead, who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
It is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this hybrid-power vacuum, battery and 120V, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that the right of people to live without crickets invading through every pore, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Now, the actual tool review.
Hercules SKU 56789. 40 CFM—enough to suck up a fat cricket from about 3 inches out. Six feet of extendable hose to pursue the quick ones. Wet or dry, just in case—but this is Phoenix, so dry it is.
Seven feet of cord, although I bought it for its portability, so I run it on the battery. Grab the giant handle and go. My Bauer has a leash, and it's a great vacuum, but the cord and size are an issue when you're running around the house pursuing the enemy.
Two-gallon capacity, which doesn't seem like much, but as the accompanying photograph demonstrates, two gallons is a boatload of crickets.
For the tired among you, it weighs 9.9 pounds, less than that Milwaukee M18 High Torque you're always crowing about.
The claimed runtime is about 37 minutes on a 5Ah battery. I tested it. It will do it.
If you need one … get one. It's a very good vacuum.
— ToolSync
