22/10/2026
🔥🏁 PUBLIC WARNING: ALEX PATERSON #111 IS BACK, AND UNFORTUNATELY, HE’S STILL ALLOWED NEAR A THROTTLE! 🏁🔥
Well, well, well… would you look at the absolute circus rolling back into Ruapuna this Sunday. 🤡
ALEX PATERSON IS BACK!
That’s right. The man, the myth, the mechanical inconvenience.
The bloke who looked at a perfectly good motorcycle and thought, “You know what this needs? Enough horsepower to rearrange my internal organs.”
Most fathers spend their weekends embarrassing their daughters with terrible dad jokes.
MINE DECIDED TO BUILD A 532HP TURBOCHARGED MONSTER AND GIVE ME AN ENTIRE FACEBOOK PAGE TO EMBARRASS HIM BACK. 💀🤣
Dad, you’ve spent years teaching me that actions have consequences.
CONGRATULATIONS. I’M YOUR CONSEQUENCE. 😘
🏍️ NOW, LET’S DISCUSS THIS TWO-WHEELED FINANCIAL DISASTER.
GSX1570 EFI TURBO DRAG BIKE #111
🔧 GSX1150 EFE bored to 1428cc with FBG custom pistons
🔧 29.5mm inlet / 27mm exhaust valves
🔧 Link G5 Voodoo Neo 4 ECU
🔧 Link 5” dash, EGTs and AF sensor
🔧 Turbocare TCRX600 turbo
🔧 48mm billet throttle bodies
🔧 Welded and balanced crankshaft
🔧 Undercut gearbox
🔧 MTC slider clutch
🔧 Custom-made steel swingarm
🔧 Hayabusa rear wheel
🔧 E85 fuel
💥 532 HORSEPOWER
💥 268 FT-LB OF TORQUE AT 11,000 RPM
🏁 BEST TURBO PASS: 8.288 SECONDS @ 156MPH!
And that’s with the rear wheel spinning!
Before this, he was running a two-stage nitrous setup, making 384HP and 343 ft-lb of torque, with a best of 8.4 seconds at 166MPH.
Most people would look at those numbers and think, “That’s pretty impressive.”
Dad looked at them and thought, “Right, how can I make this more expensive and significantly more stressful for everyone around me?”
ENTER THE TURBO.
Because apparently the only thing Dad enjoys more than going fast is finding new ways to spend money on going even faster. 😂
And he’s STILL fine-tuning the chassis, clutch and boost control.
Dad, at this point, the bike has had more work done than a Hollywood celebrity.
THE ONLY THING LEFT TO UPGRADE IS THE NUT CONNECTING THE SEAT TO THE HANDLEBARS. 💀🤣
🔧 MIKE HOOPER — CREWMAN, MECHANIC AND THE UNFORTUNATE OWNER OF TWO WORKING BRAIN CELLS IN THIS OPERATION.
Let’s talk about Mike.
This poor bu**er willingly turns up to help Dad.
Every. Single. Time.
Mike spends hours checking, adjusting, fixing and preparing the bike, only for Dad to jump on it and attempt to undo all his hard work in approximately eight seconds.
Imagine being a mechanic and having a customer who keeps coming back saying:
“She’s going good, mate… but reckon we could get a bit more out of her?”
MIKE, THE MAN HAS 532 HORSEPOWER. WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE TRYING TO ACHIEVE HERE? TIME TRAVEL?! 🚀🤣
At this stage, Mike doesn’t need another spanner.
He needs a holiday, a stiff drink and a legally binding agreement preventing Dad from starting sentences with “I’ve been thinking…”
Because nothing good has EVER followed those three words.
❤️ KERRI PATERSON — THE WOMAN WHO DESERVES A MEDAL FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS CIRCUS.
Now, a quick shoutout to Mum.
She’s been alongside Dad through the racing, the late nights in the shed and the endless bike upgrades.
She’s heard “Just need one more part, love” more times than she’d probably care to count. 😂
And while Dad’s busy working out how to squeeze another fraction of a second out of the bike, Mum’s there supporting him and making sure the circus keeps running.
Kerri, we appreciate you. Even if your husband thinks a romantic Sunday involves race fuel and tyre smoke. 🤣❤️
💰 THE SPONSORS — ALSO KNOWN AS THE BUSINESSES WHO HAVE ACTIVELY CHOSEN TO ENCOURAGE MY FATHER’S NONSENSE.
🏁 Motorcycle Oil Change NZ
Proud sponsors of Dad’s turbocharged money pit.
Keeping the oil fresh, the engine happy and my father’s questionable decisions well lubricated.
🏁 LnB Performance
Helping with the performance and tuning.
Because apparently somebody looked at Dad and thought, “You know what this bloke needs? MORE POWER.”
WHOEVER APPROVED THAT DECISION NEEDS THEIR OWN SUPERVISION. 🤣
And a shoutout to Phil Lester, who’s been involved in the tuning and race-day crewing.
Between Phil and Mike, there’s a serious amount of knowledge keeping this bike running.
Which is fantastic, because somebody in this operation needs to know what they’re doing. 💀
In all seriousness, the sponsors and crew put an enormous amount of time, knowledge and effort into this machine, and their support is hugely appreciated.
🏁 SO, WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS SUNDAY?
Will Dad finally get the clean pass he’s been chasing?
Will the rear tyre stop trying to leave without him?
Will Mike survive another weekend of Dad’s brilliant ideas?
Will Dad manage to make a pass without coming back with a shopping list?
AND WILL MY PHONE START RINGING THE SECOND HE READS THIS POST?
That last one’s practically guaranteed. 💀🤣
📍 Ruapuna Raceway, Christchurch
📅 Sunday 25 October 2026
Come down and watch Alex Paterson #111 and his crew in action!
All jokes aside, I’m bloody proud of my dad. The hours, dedication and work that have gone into this bike are massive, and watching him do what he loves is pretty special.
BUT DON’T TELL HIM I SAID THAT. HIS HEAD’S BIG ENOUGH, AND WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE WIND RESISTANCE. 😂🔥
WELCOME BACK, DAD! 🏁
And before you ring me to complain about this post, just remember…
You raised me to be confident, outspoken and never afraid to say what I think.
YOU CREATED THIS PROBLEM. I’M JUST MAKING IT EVERYONE ELSE’S ENTERTAINMENT. 😘💀
P.S. Dad, if you want this post taken down, you’ll need to lodge a formal complaint with the social media manager.
Unfortunately for you, that’s me. AND I’M NOT ACCEPTING COMPLAINTS FROM FAMILY MEMBERS. 🤣🏁
